Guy Girl Ummm.... let's just say 'other'
2. What is your favorite color?
Blue Green Red Purple Brown Silver Black White Day-glo orange Plaid Nuuuuuude!
3. So... would you consider yourself to be a good person?
I am a bright shining beacon of goodness. Um, yeah, I'm about as good as everyone else. I'm actually quite good, though it seems to be hard for people to tell. I try to be good, I really do, but I've got this mischevious streak... I do what I have to. If people think I'm evil because of it, then so be it. I am pure evil, and you know it.
4. I'm gonna go put some music on. What would you like to hear?
Vanilla Ice, yup yup. Classical. Something soothing. Nine Inch Nails, or something industrial. Happy pop music. I need a pick me up. How about some down-home country? No, really. Something by John Williams, preferrably. Got any Genesis? Whatever. As long as it's not that Pet Shop Boys crap. I've always felt that silence was underrated.
5. Speaking of music, do you consider yourself much of a dancer?
I am the dancing queen!!! Er... king. Whatever. Definitely. I can cut a rug with the best of 'em. Does lap dancing count? I've been know to bust a move on rare occasion... Um... no. I like 'dancing with myself'. I am the most uncoordinated person on the planet.
6. Are you an outgoing person?
Oh yeah. It's taking everything I've got not to scream in your face right now. I think so. I've got lots of friends, anyway. I think. I make my prescence known when I feel like it. I'm really quiet... But when the right mood strikes me, look out! People are scary.
7. Okay. Enough music. How about a movie? What would you like to watch?
How about Star Wars? I've never taken it out of my VCR. Horror. Half-naked chicks and blood are cool... Even if you aren't a 14 year old boy. A trippy experimental postmodern intellectual psychodrama. Gotta love film noir. Dark, lots of twists and turns, and the bad guy usually wins in the end. A musical! Something to sing along to. Something (sigh...) romantic. A conspriacy film. With chases, escapes, and... people walking from one place to another. Something with Brad Pitt. I have to steal a new catchphrase. The underappreciated genre that is 1970's pornography. Something by the early masters. You know, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li... Milo & Otis!!! It's sooooo cuuute! It's got a pug in it!!! I don't care, as long as it has JEFF WELK in it! Movies are the devil.
8. How about food? If you could eat anything, what would it be?
Whatever. Food is food. As long as it's pan-fried, I'm happy. Something classy. With at least seven courses. And salad forks. Who's up for Shari's? Chicken. And chicken. With chicken on the side. I could live on beer and fumes, baby! A bra. YOUR SOUL!!! I'll have what JEFF WELK is having.
9. As long as we're being hypothetical, how about cars? If you could drive anything, what would it be?
A late 70's low-rider. A big truck. Preferrably with a hyper-nitrous pudu hookup. A bright yellow motorcycle. Awwww yeah. What?! You've never heard of the Penal Colony Pugeot? Ah... my feet are what I was born with, that's good enough for me. I prefer to be chauffeured, actually. Who needs a car? I'll just get a ride with Alan. I can teleport. *bamf!!!* A bitchin' Camaro. Just like JEFF WELK drives! I never understood why the horse and buggy went out of style. Cars are scary.
10. Hm... having a job is important. How about your dream job?
I'm a Jedi... I've got the toy lightsaber and everything! An FBI Agent. A director. The famous kind. A fashion designer. A teen idol. A go-go dancer. A stripper. A stage actor - real acting, not that film crap. A professional groupie. A janitor. You get a mop. A hitman. Or a mass murderer. Same difference. A high-kickin' kung-fu master! I don't care, as long as it involves eating chicken. Something... at a TV station? I'd be perfectly happy with being a bum. A job? Feh. There are better ways to make money. Housewife works for me. So sue me, I'm traditional.
11. What kind of clothes do you normally wear?
Um... whatever. I am a very stylish girl. Or guy. Either... Corduroy. I don't care if it's so five years ago. Flashy and out there. Definitely something pimpy. Leather, vinyl, and metal. Typical goth. Frilly and lacy - maybe a tutu... Cloaks, capes, and so on... I'd fit right in at a d&d convention. All black. I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm that cool. I see no reason to wear anything besides Hawaiian shirts. A pantsuit. Nothing!!! I have no fashion sense.
12. Guess we should ask some faux pseudo-intellectual questions too... What sort of political theory / leadership style do you subscribe to?
I... wanna beeeeee... anarchyyyyyyy!!!! The democractic approach seems to work ok, I guess. Whether kind or tough, having an single person in charge is the way to go. I follow some sort of guidance from above... the force, voices in my head, whatever. I'm half a goose-step away from being a total fascist.
13. If the aliens landed and the world was suddenly under attack, what would you do?
We must fight!!! Run away! Say "I told you so!" to anyone who will listen. See if the aliens are taking applications for foot soldiers. Actually, they're working for me, helping me take over the world. Mwahaha...
14. What's your greatest fear?
Failure Being left alone Being continually misunderstood Screwdriver-wielding maniacs Having my evil plans discovered Fire Aliens - that last question had me freaked out. Evil kittens Our childrens' minds being corrupted by movies like Doin' the Spice Nothing!!! Um. Almost nothing. Pantsuited thespians Losing someone special like JEFF WELK!
15. Last question - if you could be doing anything else right now, what would it be?
Sleep Dance Make a movie Take over the world Meditate/Philosophize Drugs Get some practice in with my lightsaber Make money money make money money money Burn down KBVR-TV Eat some chicken Lick myself Shave my hairy heart Shave JEFF WELK's hairy heart
